Positive Self Talk - The Way You Talk To Yourself Can Determine How You Succeed

We hold a silent conversation with ourselves many times in the day. Some experts even said that we have these silent conversations for about 50.000 times a day. This “selftalk” has a direct effect on our thoughts and behaviors.

Self-talk is the inner monologue (and sometimes dialogue!) when confronted with a situation. What we silently say to ourselves about the events we experience influences us in many profound ways. Selftalk changes what we see and hear around us, what we feel within us, and what we remember when we look back on the experience.

Have you ever heard about self fulfilling prophecy? Self-talk is very much like a self-fulfilling prophecy—something you think about a lot can actually make it happen. When your self-talk is positive—“Things will work out,” “I know I can do the job”—you’re giving yourself permission to succeed and chances are you will. You ordered your subconscious mind to provide you all the resources to succeed. When your self-talk is negative—“I know I’ll have a terrible time,” “I’m not good enough to be a supervisor”—you’re giving up on yourself and chances are you won’t even try to succeed. Because you’ve ordered your subconscious mind to let go all the chances to succeed.

Self-talk can direct your thoughts and behavior. If you think, “I know I can do the job,” you’ll be more willing to apply. During the interview, you’ll be more likely to show confidence in yourself and your abilities, and have a better chance to succeed. But if you say to yourself, “I’ll never get hired for that position,” you may not even apply, guaranteeing that you won’t get the job.

So, it is very important to “rewrite” all negative self-talks with a positive ones. The idea is to erase the mental “tapes” you normally play for yourself when confronted with stress, and replace them with new ones.

There are several thought patterns that we usually have, especially the negative ones, such as:

1. Black or white thinking (You’re either perfect or a total failure!)

· I am from a small town and everyone else is from a larger city. No way can I compete with them

· Now it’s my turn. I have to show them how good I am.

2. Catastrophic Thinking (Exaggerating the significance of one single event!)

· This is the most embarrassing moment of my life!

· No one has ever insult me such a way as he’s just did to me!

3. Pessimistic Thinking (Seeing only the negatives and assuming the worst!)

· I’ve never have good friends before. What makes me think I can start now?

· I know I can’t do it! It’s just a waste of time.

4. Self-fulfilling Prophecy

· If I eat one serving of ice cream, I know Iwon’t be able to stop.

· I can’t start my daily activity without a cup of coffee.

5. Should Statements (Being ruled by a rigid set of rules!)

· I should have practiced more. Now the chance has gone.

· I shouldn't eat after 6:00 p.m. or else all the calories will turn to fat.

6. “It’s-not-my-fault” Thinking (Shifting responsibility for your behaviors!)

· If it wasn’t for her, I would be the one at that position.

· I can succeed if I have more time.

7. Mind Reading (Assuming people are thinking the worst about you!)

· No one would be interested in what I say

· See.. they’re all looking down on me.

8. Discounting (Can’t accept positive feedback!)

· Who does he think he is, trying to give me some advice? Huh?

· I know he is not trying to give me feedback. He’s trying to embarrass me during the meeting.

9. Comparing (Always comparing self to others!)

· No matter what I do, he will be always one step ahead!

· Yes, you can do it because you have more resources than me

The way to induce positive thinking and eliminate negative thinking is simple. First, you have to beware of your self-talk. If it is a negative self-talk, then STOP IT!! Say to yourself right away, “STOP!!”

Then replace the negative self-talk into positive ones. At first, maybe it will make us feel a little awkward. We cannot actually choose the words we are going to say everytime, even to ourselves, because it comes out just like that. It lies in our daily habit. But never mind, if we keep on practicing it, then soon a new habit will replace the old one.

Every habit can be learned. First, we form the habit, and later it forms us, and therefore forms our life. But the most important point is that it was previously formed by us. So, we can change it. It’s our choice. And surely it is our choice to walk path to success in every aspect of our life.