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Kingson Suryaatmaja

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Positive Self Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings, and your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can begin to assert control over every part of your life.

Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that you experience. When you see things positively and you look for the good in every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.

You are constantly faced with challenges, difficulties, and problems every day of your life. They are unavoidable and one of the inevitable parts of being human. But as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger person. When you look back over your life, you’ll see that you are the kind of person that you are because of all the difficulties and problems that you have had to overcome in your life. Without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know to developed the character and strength that you have at this point in your life.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable for success and happiness. It is the key to success in business, and it is vital to building strong relationships with other people. Everyone wants to be around a positive person with a cheerful attitude towards life. But no one wants to be around a negative person who is always pessimistic about everything. Your ability to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what the situation may be, will play a critical role in any success you achieve.

One of the best ways to define a positive mental attitude is having “a constructive and positive response to adversity.” It is only when you are confronted with a setback or adversity that you really know if you have a positive attitude or not. Anyone can be positive when things are going well. It is only when things are going against you, that you are able to demonstrate to yourself and others, that you have a positive character and personality.

One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up, successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move forward towards their goals.

Optimistic people develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience adversity of any kind, they immediately describe it to themselves in a such a way that it looses its ability to trigger negative emotions. They are able to exert a sense of control by how they describe any event or situation to themselves.

There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness. We feel hurt and disillusioned. We react just as though we had been punched in the “emotional solar plexus.”

A person who is positive and optimistic is resilient and bounces back fast when he or she encounters a problem or setback of any kind. He or she responds quickly to an adverse event and interprets it as being temporary and only external. An optimistic person takes full control of his or her inner dialogue and counters any negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that appears positive in some way.

Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, if you deliberately choose the positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts and feelings determine you actions, if you keep your words and thoughts positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more rapidly toward your goals.

It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. When a problem or difficulty comes up you must learn to change your language from negative to positive. For example, you should learn to use the word situation instead of problem. A problem is something you wrestle and struggle with. It represents a potential loss and difficultly. A situation, on the other hand, is just something that you deal with. The event is the same. But the way you interpret the event to yourself is what makes it sound and appear completely different.

An even better word to substitute for problem is the word challenge. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.” The word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to and that makes you stronger. It is again the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe it is different. As a result, your emotional response will be different as well.
The best of all possible words for any event or situation is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I am faced with an unexpected opportunity.” Within ever difficulty or problem, there lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity or benefit. If you focus your attention on finding out what the valuable lesson is, you will always find it.

You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such as “I like myself,” “I am the best,“ and “I can do it.” These are personal and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror at least 50 times a day. By doing this, you will be driving these new positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this, you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.

The hallmark of the truly successful and happy person is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The high achieving individual has the ability to continue talking to himself or herself in a positive and optimistic way no matter what the situation is. They are always calm, clear, and completely under control. As a result, they are able to exert a far greater sense of control and influence over their environment, and are less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted by problems or difficulties.

The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words positive and consistent with your goals. Keep your mind focused on what you want and on becoming the person you want to be.
Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to become a better person. So, welcome each difficulty as a learning experience and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.

Always, keep your thoughts on your future and on your goals. Constantly think about the person you want to become. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.” Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant in every situation. Resist every temptation to respond to a situation negatively. View disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and talk to yourself and others about it in a positive and optimistic way.

When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental pictures consistent with your goals, nothing can stop you from being the success you are meant to be.

Author: Joe Love

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

15 Ways To Get Really Motivated

First, recognize that motivation is an inside job. The word motivate means to impel, inspire, hope, stimulate, incite, propel, spur, goad, move, induce, prompt, instigate, fire, provoke, actuate, cause, egg on, drive, excite, and to trigger. Don’t wait for someone to motivate you, here are 15 ways you can motivate yourself.

1. Set daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and lifetime goals. A goal is a goal if it’s writing. Goals get you going in the direction that’s right for you.

2. Listen to a motivational tape. Record into a tape recorder your favorite quotes, anecdotes and personal success stories. Play back your tape frequently. Nothing is more motivating than the sound of your own voice. Try it!

3. Get motivated to make better telephone calls by buying Art Sobczak’s new book, “How To Sell More In Less Time With No Rejection.” To order call Art at 402-895-9399.

4. To overachieve every quota you are given take this advice. First write yourself a check dated for 12/31/05 payable to yourself and write how much you want to earn on the amount line. Make three laminated copies and put one in your briefcase, auto console, and home office. Second, always aim higher than the quota you are given. If you adjust your aim, the results will follow.

5. Buy an inspirational book of quotations and keep it in your car. Read three quotes daily. Remember - inspirational words usually inspire us.

6. Invest 15 minutes daily to read books and articles about the selling profession. This is gourmet food for your brain. Don’t skip a day.

7. Get a mentor, preferably one outside of your company. The truly successful people never go it alone.

8. To jack-up your sales performance, prepare your own laminated cue cards. Create cue cards for making appointments, your 12 best questions, for handling the price objection, and for asking for the order. Each cue card should be prepared word-for-word. Your performances will sky-rocket.

9. Buy a composition notebook for your car. Record your successes, failures, and daily observations about your selling environment.

10. Read the “The Ancient Scrolls” an inspiring book by Tim Connor. To order call 800-222-9070.

11. To get motivated about improving your personal financial situation, set a personal net worth goal and write it on a spread sheet, then review it monthly. Self worth increases proportionately with net worth.

12. Tell your family if you achieve 110% or more of your annual sales quota - you’ll take them anywhere they want to go on vacation.

13. Tell your family when you reach a new monthly sales record milestone, you’ll take them out to celebrate.

14. Select one song that really gets you moving and play it every morning as you back out of your driveway.

15. Make a dinner date with your spouse tonight then go some place special.

Every day is a great day, especially if you don’t see your name in the obituary section of the paper.

It's easy to make every day a masterpiece when you're motivated.

(Jim Meisenheimer, http://www.meisenheimer.com/)

Saturday, May 5, 2007

10 Ways To Bring More Balance To Your Life

The World Health Organization has called stress a modern day epidemic affecting every person of every culture, educational status, and financial level across the world. Too much stress is the reason we end up sick and burned out. We know there must be something more than the hustle and bustle of modern-day life and yet forget to take the time to find our unique sense of balance.

Gandhi once said, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” This is even more true in the modern world. It is essential then that you discover what will bring you a harmonious and balanced lifestyle. There are many ways to bring more balance to your life. Here are 10 ways I have found that work, which should get you thinking of even more uniquely suited to you.

1. Have Faith in a Higher Power

Voltaire once said, “Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” Having faith in a higher power helps you face even the darkest hours. Faith gives you peace of mind and an open heart. It lights the dark tunnel and allows you to walk forward courageously.

Action Step: Choose a favorite inspirational quote about faith and put it in your wallet.

2. Assess Your Life

Human beings are similar to a computer: we both operate on programming. What we put in, we get back. And if we put in or take on too much, we get overloaded, and then burn out. Assessing where you are now will help you to know what to do, where to go, and what to leave behind.

Action Step: List all the stressful events that have happened to you in the last year.

3. Live By Your Values

Choose to make life choices that stem from your core values---those things that feed your soul. Values are intrinsic beliefs and feelings that develop from our experiences, backgrounds, and culture. You will be pleasantly surprised to find that when your orient your life around your values that life is much more to your liking.

Action Step: Identify and define your top 5 values.

4. Develop Boundaries

Boundaries are physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers that keep us safe, protected and nurtured. Having healthy boundaries empowers us to say no when appropriate and attract what we want into our life and keep out “garbage.” Boundaries show others that you love, care, and value yourself.

Action Step: Set a clear boundary with someone close to you this week.

5. Change Your Self-Talk Balanced living requires balanced thinking. When negative thoughts come up, shut them out and focus on the positive. Your personal operating software is often running off of outdated and old tapes. Consciously create a new tape and upload it to your brain!

Action Step: Choose an affirmation that you love and say it out loud ten times every day.

6. Take Control You are in control of your own life. Nobody makes you stay in bad situations. If you are in a job you despise, an unhealthy relationship, do not wait until you get fired or dumped. Choose to change. Recognize the cause of your discontent and take action.

Action Step: Make a change for the better starting now.

7. Clean up and Clear Out

Your physical surroundings have a major impact on your sense of balance. So if you live and work in chaos and clutter, you will feel off center. Cleaning up and clearing out your personal (mind-set and relationships) and environmental (home, office, car) spaces brings instant rejuvenation.

Action Step: Tackle a drawer, closet, or garage by the end of the week.

8. Eliminate Tolerations

If you are like most, you are tolerating way too much. A toleration is anything that is stressing you, for example: things that are undone, incomplete projects, and toxic people, places, or situations. Eliminating tolerations is a great way to unleash stored energy and power.

Action Step: Eliminate 3 tolerations from your life today.

9. Practice Wellness

Wellness means having a holistic program (mind, body, and spirit). Take care of your body by eating healthy, getting regular exercise and enjoying rest. Nurture your heart and mind with good friends, fun adventures, and learning new things. Refresh your spirit by reading inspirational books, attending church, spending time in nature, etc.

Action Step: Do 3 extra things to take care of yourself this week.

10. Simplify Your Life

The key to live more simply is to downsize and release unnecessary things from your life. Simple living is about living deliberately. You choose your existence rather than sailing through life. It is about finding your unique balance. Simplicity asks: Is it right for me? How do I want to live my life?

Action Step: Write your philosophy of an ideal life, incorporating elements you most cherish.

There are many ways to bring balance to your life. It starts with making smart decisions and becoming more aware of what makes you happy. Stress is not going away anytime soon, so you may as well start today by creating a program to manage it. Discover what works best for you and commit to doing it on a daily basis. You will quickly learn that balance is not just a nice idea, but an actual reality!

(Michelle L. Casto, M.Ed., http://www.getsmartseries.com )

Finding Ways To Save Time And Accomplish More Toward Goals

A definition of time management might be a process of gaining flexibility and cutting back time. The advantage to having a time management plan is that we are loosing something that brings us reward and gaining something that brings us bigger rewards. We end up with a “no loosing” situation if our time management plan is right.

To develop a successful time management plan we must first evaluate our time. We must sit down and ask ourselves how long does it take us to eat? How long does it take us to get dressed and groom for work? How long does it take us to prepare the meals we have to eat? Everything we do takes a certain amount of time. You might start out by writing down just how much time it takes to do each of your very have to tasks each day.

Then sit back and evaluate your list. Are you wasting 10 minutes here and there on those have to items that could be used for something else?

Where our time goes is an essential element to determine for our entire time management plan if we want to begin spending more quality with the most important people of our lives and less wasted time on some routine task. This is the absolute first step of creating your own personalized time management plan, a time management plan that will allow your more time to do the things in life that are most important to you. You must determine where you are wasting time and then decide how to use that time more effectively. Once that time is lost, there is no calling it back.

Another important element of creating a successful time management plan is to be sure and finish tasks before moving onto another task, unless you are at work, in a job that requires doing multiple tasks at one time (multi-tasking). Once you finish one task, move onto the next task and follow in pursuit of finishing all tasks. Once you finish the last task, sit back for a moment in a comfortable position and think of what you accomplished. How much time did it take you to complete task? Don’t forget to be keeping down your start time and end time. Of course this type of listing time of tasks works best for those things you do as routine each day. You want to work on completing the tasks in as little time as possible so you that you have to add in the unexpected tasks of the day or…….much better…….so that you have time to do something you really, really want to do, something that is not routinely required of you to do. For example, like visit on the phone with a favorite friend, your daughter or mother, or whoever, read some in the books you want to complete at some point or another in your lifetime.

A successful time management plan provides us with a source for more flexible schedules. When we have flexibility we have more time for ourselves. Once you have determined your priorities for time usage, then you can start adding tasks that you been putting off because you just don’t have the time to do them. So….you now need another list of goals and plans of tasks and things you want to do but never have the time to do. One of the best ways of keeping these lists is on your computer where you can quickly erase and add to. But then again, paper in a notebook is also good, perhaps a special book.

Time management is the process of working to succeed. When we work to succeed we reach our goals. We first have to decide what those goals are, of course, and then work toward them using our time management plan. You will probably have to sit down and really ponder on what is needed to reach each goal of set of goals, and of course, decide how much time each step of the way you will need. Some people like to set short term goals, reach that goal and then set a long term goal. It might be a better plan to try and set short and long-term goals in the same time management plan. Whichever way works best for you, however, is what you should do.

Time management is essential since it demands that a person plan, act on those plans and stay focused on those goals with motivation. You must also keep reality in mind, and plan for the things out of your control that could go wrong and therefore steal time from your time management plan. Some examples would be computer failures, family illness, personal illness, inches and inches of snow and ice, horrible sudden tornados and hurricanes. It is always wise to include elements of your time management plan in accordance to what could happen out of your control. You may want to have a plan ahead of time of using your time in some other manner if your computer fails. Catch up on your paper filing or something. Right now for me, I am experiencing an internet outage. I have groomed many more Shih Tzu than the usual today in the time I usually spend answering e-mails and working on my websites.

Time management is working to succeed. If you want to succeed then you must work hard every day to meet your goals. I recently cut down my preparing and eating breakfast time by about ten minutes. Instead of my usual meal, I now mix up a Zone Shake and drink it while doing some other chore like adding to or emptying out the dishwasher, or even while opening up my daily e-mails. In reality here I am using ten extra minutes to work on my goals, rather than preparing and eating a regular breakfast.

(Connie Limon, http://www.selfimprovementbook1.com )

Happiness: The Quest

Happiness is something many of us strive for. Why is it so hard to achieve, especially at times when you need it the most? How do we change a gloomy mood into a lighter or happier one?

There are some things within our power that will help us accomplish these goals.

What are some benefits of happiness that could encourage you to work towards it even more?

• Health • Self Confidence • A sense of Purpose • More Productivity • Achieve Your Goals • Weight Loss

Funny thing is that the above list also works in reverse. If you are healthy, self confident and all the rest listed, than you will most likely be happier. Sometimes happiness is staring us right in the face.

Here are some ways that you can create happiness in your life. Exercise: It appears that exercising comes up a lot when we are speaking about improving various things in our lives. It has been shown to improve mood by making us healthier and increasing endorphins.

Foods & Diet: Eating chocolate is probably more of a pleasure than sustained happiness, even though it can provide us with a short-lived boost.

A healthy diet though is vital for our health and happiness. Too much sugar and junk foods are provisional emotional boosters. In the long run these problem foods will degrade us physically as well as emotionally.

Eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, including raw veggies. Cut back on unhealthy foods and don't "Super Size" it.

Supplements: If you are not receiving all of your nutrients in your diet then you may want to supplement by taking vitamins.

There are some specific supplements that target your mood. You could discuss these with your health practitioner.

Music: Music can bring miracles to your mood. Go ahead and listen to something upbeat and happy.

Rewards: Happiness comes from rewards as well. They can be simple things. You find a great bargain on something you been wanting. Maybe someone offers you a simple item of interest. You do a task and are complimented on it by someone else or yourself. Even finding a coin on the sidewalk can give you a "Reward" feeling that can bring happiness to you.

The greatest reward can come from giving a compliment to someone or saying a kind word.

Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have. This simple statement can make a giant difference in your life! Everyday think of everything you have. The enormous things, and the little things. Are you living in a cardboard box? No. Then be very grateful. Yes? Be grateful for the cardboard box.

Have gratitude for friends and family, the home you live in, the food you eat. Isn't it great having air to breath, freedom to go where you want. Don't take these for granted but have gratitude and give thanks.

Love: Well Love can clearly bring happiness. Love for your spouse, friends, neighbors and strangers. Give Love and you will receive Love. Learn to Love Yourself. Let's all remember that when we interact with others.

Enjoyment: Do what you enjoy. This could be a hobby or going for a walk in the park. If you do things that you like it's bound to bring happiness.

Forgiveness: Try a bit harder to say kind words to others. Place yourself in the other's person place for a moment. Sure there are some people that act so mean and hateful. Remember you only hurt yourself when you return meanness or hold resentment and anger inside.

Help Others: Find ways to make others happy. You may be surprised that by willingly helping others to find joy can have a positive impact on you as well. Help others to find meaning in life. Keep them company.

Build Self Confidence: Do your work the best you can. Learn new skills. Find meaning in your career and life. Enjoy a new hobby or game. You can boost your self-confidence by learning new and enjoyable things. Raise your self-confidence and you raise your happiness.

Happiness can make you smarter! Is it really surprising that positive attracts positive? If you do these things you will increase your happiness.

What is the most important thing to you? Is it money, a fancy car or a mansion, maybe your health? What about happiness?

Well let's think a moment….

If you have happiness, all the happiness you want or need, would that be the most important thing to you?

What good is money or the rest without happiness? If you are truly happy you won't need to worry about the rest. If you require money to be happy then you will have it. Maybe the saying, "Money Can't Buy Happiness", should be "Happiness Can Produce Money".

Try to release all anger and negative emotions. You can accomplish this easier once you realize you are only hurting yourself and other loved ones around you. Sure it will take regular practice. You may struggle with this, but it can become second nature after awhile.

It's up to you. Do you want to be negative and unhappy or positive and learn to be happier? You can start now by adding positive attributes to your life. Be good, smile and put on a happy face!

(Lambert Klein, the owner and founder of Articles Mall)